Memory – SoCS

 

My memory  . . . my memories . . . what a beautiful convoluted bittersweet poignant delightful intriguing tantalizing wonderful place to get lost for awhile ❤

I just hope that someday that’s not where I live, except as someone else’s – memory that is.

 

In response to the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt “Memory” – http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-114/

I’m Here – Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness

I’m here, waiting for you. The night is cool, the winds blowing softly under a full moon. As I wait, I can hear you, the things you said last time we met. Will your words change my destiny? Should I not have come here today? I couldn’t help myself, I had to come – because all I do is keep hearing what you said.

Written in response to Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness post is “hear/here.”

The Encounter (Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt)

“Hey, where you going,” she shouted from across the street.

She walked over with a friend, and standing next to me, green eyes staring up, said “Can you give us a ride?” She was short, maybe a little over five feet, with dirty blond hair. Her voice was deep and sexy. How had I not noticed her before, living right across the street?

“Where are you going,” I asked.

“We need a ride to the mall.”

“I’m just going to the little store at the front of the neighborhood,” he replied, but thought shit, I’m not an idiot, I’ll take them further.  “I guess I can take you to the freeway.”

She smiled, which made those green eyes light up, replying “Cool, we can hitch a ride from there,” as she climbed in the front passenger seat. “This is my friend, Cheryl.”

I don’t recall what all was said that day long ago, but that single encounter changed my life. I made that girl my wife and I am pretty certain with all my being, had I not met her, my life would’ve consisted of prison or early death. She saved me from myself and continues to do so, on a daily basis. She gave me a beautiful daughter, who has subsequently given me two beautiful granddaughters. She has loved me in spite of all my shortcomings.

Written using the prompt – Who has changed your life just by walking into it? – from:  http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/life-changing-entrances-stream-of-consciousness-saturday/

I Might Have Said Yes (Stream of Consciousness Saturday Prompt)

Prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS) April 26/2014 – This week I’d like to see what you can do with a question. Ask one in the first sentence or two of your post and then answer it… or not. It’s up to you. at http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2614/ 

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How did I miss how strong your feelings were?

Why didn’t you keep in touch?

Why didn’t you ask me the question you came to ask me?

Why did you hide how you felt?

How could you walk away from me, without giving me a clue?

It was a long time ago, I know . . . but I might have said yes.

 

©2014

 

 

It was written previously for , but was SOC and came together super quick.

I don’t want to be like my mother-in-law (Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt)

“This post is part of SoCS: (The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS April 5/14)”  The prompt is ‘do’ or ‘don’t.’ Write about any subject at all, but make it about something you feel strongly about doing or avoiding; whether it’s yourself or others, it doesn’t matter. NO editing, just Stream of Consciousness writing . . .

My daughter & her husband are having problems – major problems. He has been texting an older woman for over 9 months now. My daughter has caught him several times. They discuss it & he says he won’t do it anymore, or she’s just a friend & things like my daughter wouldn’t be worried about it if her self-esteem wasn’t so poor. My daughter has gained a bit of weight since having their 2 children, 4 & 2. I know her heart is breaking. I know deep down, she blames herself a little. I know he is a complete ass, selfish as the day is long. Not a loyal bone in his body.

This isn’t the 1^st girl he has had this kind of relationship with. Who knows if they meet – a few of the texts/instant messages seemed more than suggestive as if he had already been unfaithful. Today was their 5^th wedding anniversary & from what I know there was no celebration. That happened to me last year & it is a hurt that never is forgotten.

Right now I am so disappointed in him. Two weekends ago, he went out with friends, the woman included, without his wedding ring, telling my daughter he did not know if he wanted to be married to her anymore. That night a pic was posted on FB of him & his friends – I was so incensed I posted the nastiest post I have posted publicly in my life – told him he was a prick & he made me sick & he should be so proud of what a great husband and father he was, cause my husband sure was. I deleted it a few hours later, but hope he saw it. I don’t want to be like my mother-in-law.

Last summer, my husband of 35 years & I split up for awhile – he left. He told his mom all kinds of things & all of a sudden though I had been her lifeline in this family, she completely cut me out of her life, quit talking to me, took my name off of everything & made every effort to cause as much trouble between my husband & I as she could. I f we appeared to be working things out, she would throw a stick in our spokes, and each time the stick got bigger.

I am not a judgmental person like that & give people several opportunities to screw me over before I cut them out. BUT, right now I feel like I hate him – I definitely despise him. I think he is doing my daughter & his children wrong. I think they deserve better, & I know they do. I think he is a fly-by night, fleeting moth to a new flame – he needs the validation as his self-esteem is what is lacking. I think he is a selfish little bastard & my daughter should leave him and get on with her life. I truly think he will continue this behavior – when he is done with this woman he will move on to another.

My daughter has said the very same thing, but I am trying hard not to say much – except to listen to her own heart & head and think down the road & how she really wants to live her life. . I do not want to be in her ear, she needs to reconcile her heart with her head and decide what kind of life she wants & I can’t be the catalyst. I can’t be blamed for what might have been had I not gotten involved. I also can’t hold a grudge if they manage to work it out, as he is part of our family. This might be hard, as infidelity is the one line my husband and I have never crossed & wouldn’t be able to forgive.

Really, I just wish I could fix it. I wish I could take my child’s pain away. I wish I could take these devastating memories out of her mind. I wish I could turn back the clock, and prevent this behavior from ever starting. I wish so many things. I wish I could keep from crying about it, but right now I can’t. But the one thing I don’t want to do, is be like my mother-in-law.