Dear Future


 

Dear Future,

I have no idea what you have in store for me.  Sometimes I am excited by the prospects and sometimes I am frightened by the chances. I could become a well-paid self-employed writer, then again if I don’t find a job soon I could lose my house and become homeless.  (Okay, that list could go on and on . . .)

Future, you seem to be so elusive, yet inspiring. So motivating, while at the same time uncertain. So nerve-racking, yet you make me feel so alive. Why oh why are you so unknown?

I look forward to more conversations as you continue to show yourself to me.

~ Sadie

This was written in response to The Daily Post:Writing101 writing prompt. I opened the book nearest to me to page 29 and the first word that caught my eye is the one I am to write a letter to. I am not enrolled in this session, so I didn’t have access to ping back there, but that’s okay because I enjoyed the prompt!

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Easier To See


 

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Lately it’s been easy for me to put myself inside someone else’s head —

Maybe cause it’s easier to think like them than like me.

My world’s pretty complicated these days —

Looking through someone else’s’ eyes it’s easier to see.

 

©2014

☮ ~ Sixties Retro ~ ☮


 

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Peace signs

Hookah pipes

Black licorice and

Lemon drops

Cinnamon discs

Smiley faces

Patchouli incense

Wide open spaces

Bell bottom jeans

White gauze shirts

Colorful love beads

Long flowing skirts

VW Bugs

Chevy Vans

Long-haired hippies

Acid-rock bands

Civil rights

Black and white

Living together

Birds of a feather

The sixties –a magical transformative time!

©2014

I Missed It


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You’re still in my dreams at times

Though not as often as before

Maybe I don’t need you or

The thought of you anymore.

 

Though you’re always there

In the background, I’ll never forget

How you affected me and changed

The way I thought of myself.

 

Sometimes I miss that.

 

And more than anything . . .

I wish I would’ve kissed you just once.

You’re voluptuous full lips on mine

They had to be soft and sweet.

 

©2014

I don’t want to be like my mother-in-law (Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt)


“This post is part of SoCS: (The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS April 5/14)”  The prompt is ‘do’ or ‘don’t.’ Write about any subject at all, but make it about something you feel strongly about doing or avoiding; whether it’s yourself or others, it doesn’t matter. NO editing, just Stream of Consciousness writing . . .

My daughter & her husband are having problems – major problems. He has been texting an older woman for over 9 months now. My daughter has caught him several times. They discuss it & he says he won’t do it anymore, or she’s just a friend & things like my daughter wouldn’t be worried about it if her self-esteem wasn’t so poor. My daughter has gained a bit of weight since having their 2 children, 4 & 2. I know her heart is breaking. I know deep down, she blames herself a little. I know he is a complete ass, selfish as the day is long. Not a loyal bone in his body.

This isn’t the 1st girl he has had this kind of relationship with. Who knows if they meet – a few of the texts/instant messages seemed more than suggestive as if he had already been unfaithful. Today was their 5th wedding anniversary & from what I know there was no celebration. That happened to me last year & it is a hurt that never is forgotten.

Right now I am so disappointed in him. Two weekends ago, he went out with friends, the woman included, without his wedding ring, telling my daughter he did not know if he wanted to be married to her anymore. That night a pic was posted on FB of him & his friends – I was so incensed I posted the nastiest post I have posted publicly in my life – told him he was a prick & he made me sick & he should be so proud of what a great husband and father he was, cause my husband sure was. I deleted it a few hours later, but hope he saw it. I don’t want to be like my mother-in-law.

Last summer, my husband of 35 years & I split up for awhile – he left. He told his mom all kinds of things & all of a sudden though I had been her lifeline in this family, she completely cut me out of her life, quit talking to me, took my name off of everything & made every effort to cause as much trouble between my husband & I as she could. I f we appeared to be working things out, she would throw a stick in our spokes, and each time the stick got bigger.

I am not a judgmental person like that & give people several opportunities to screw me over before I cut them out. BUT, right now I feel like I hate him – I definitely despise him. I think he is doing my daughter & his children wrong. I think they deserve better, & I know they do. I think he is a fly-by night, fleeting moth to a new flame – he needs the validation as his self-esteem is what is lacking. I think he is a selfish little bastard & my daughter should leave him and get on with her life. I truly think he will continue this behavior – when he is done with this woman he will move on to another.

My daughter has said the very same thing, but I am trying hard not to say much – except to listen to her own heart & head and think down the road & how she really wants to live her life. . I do not want to be in her ear, she needs to reconcile her heart with her head and decide what kind of life she wants & I can’t be the catalyst. I can’t be blamed for what might have been had I not gotten involved. I also can’t hold a grudge if they manage to work it out, as he is part of our family. This might be hard, as infidelity is the one line my husband and I have never crossed & wouldn’t be able to forgive.

Really, I just wish I could fix it. I wish I could take my child’s pain away. I wish I could take these devastating memories out of her mind. I wish I could turn back the clock, and prevent this behavior from ever starting. I wish so many things. I wish I could keep from crying about it, but right now I can’t. But the one thing I don’t want to do, is be like my mother-in-law.

Saw It Coming


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Nothing like being blind-sided

Especially when I saw it coming

Could sense something in the cosmos

Now I see myself running

 

Thought I could fix it

Hoped it was gone

But when it slaps me in the face

I know I was wrong

 

Gotta change my situation

Find some peace and faith in my soul

Need to get my head right

Not sure whats coming down the road

 

©2014

Lost in Writing


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I get lost in the music, the soundtrack of my life,

As I capture the words and phrases in my head.

Some are sweet, some cut like a knife,

Memories of specific times cherished, along with tears shed.

 

Though little storms rage all around me,

Somehow I’m  at peace, and mostly calm.

Maybe because one of my outlets you see,

Besides writing, is sunning out by the palm.

 

I write when I feel, to try to make sense,

Often imagining the beach and its breeze in June.

But I have to say, in my own defense,

I also love writing by the light of the moon.

 

©2014

Texas Gulf Coast in the Spring


 

Bluebonnets on the roadside

Pleasant days and cooler nights

A breeze playing the windchimes

A young man catches your eye

 

Crawfish boils with potatoes and corn

Redbuds sprouting purple on the trees

Laughing with friends on the patio

Watching the growth of all being born

 

A deer in the field watching its fawn

An armadillo killed on the run

Picking dewberries along the fence line

Daylight savings time makes the day long

 

Catching specs, drums and reds in the bay

Eating strawberries at the festival

Drinking margaritas in the sun

Texas in the spring – It can take your breath away!

 

©2014

Right Now . . .


I have been around the block a time or two. I am definitely a bit cynical. Having said that, I appreciate every little moment for what it is, a moment of sharing, learning or enjoying the moment. I am one of those people that like to get it all out on table; I don’t like holding much back, though I know some things may be better left unsaid. This can be problematic . . . but I am always thinking about what I do not want to leave unsaid. Though it may be better, there are a few things I may not want to take to my grave.

So often, people see things in us that we never see in ourselves. This is when other people’s opinions matter – or they should. I have been fortunate in my lifetime to have a few people see things in me that I would’ve never seen in myself, or even imagined would pertain to me. People who have actually been touched by me, in ways I may never know or understand.

While being a heavy burden, this is also intoxicatingly and passionately stimulating. This is when we realize, no one is an island, and we all touch others in ways we never imagine, intend, or suspect. This is why there is such a concept as responsibility to society or others in general. The web we walk, and legacy we leave, are often unseen, if not specifically sought out.

There’s an old saying that there is someone out there that loves you right now that you are most probably unaware of. I agree with this sentiment 100%. I think this applies to everybody, whether you believe it or not.     ~~

Deja Vu


 

He was the shy boy across the street

She’s wasn’t exactly the girl next door

His parents tried to warn him away

He knew he’d never felt this way before

 

Lying together in bed for hours on end

Sharing their feelings and life stories

Discussing their dreams, desires and sins

Their bodies fitting  perfectly exploring their glories

 

They got their own place

As soul mates started their lives

It all seemed so right

Till they began burying  knives

[in each other’s backs]

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

They grew up together

They endured and grew through the pains

The world was their oyster

Till they noticed the stains

 

Decades had passed, fine lines evident

Yet they still looked the same, in each other’s eyes

But they were neglectful, holding grudges

And soon learned what complacency buys

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

Soon the contempt crept in

Causing cracks in their bond

They tried several times to go it alone

But the love and desire just wasn’t gone

 

As time marched on, he knew he’d  misjudged missing her

Even apart, they shared each other’s bodies and bed

But then after he’d leave, often wishing he’d stayed

This just fucked with her heart and her head

[and it hurt]

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

They got back together, though he took his time

Many promises made, she meant them this time

Boundaries were set, expectations revealed

This time it would work – tough times were behind

 

Life continued to challenge them in ways never expected

They tried to stay strong as confidence and faith wavered

Expectations forgotten, many promises broken

Though they’re holding on, praying love remains savored

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

©2014

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© ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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