Just Talking – Write Naked Part 6


Another segment in my novel I started working on last November for NaNoWriMo. It has not been edited in any form yet, just free writing. If you want to know some back story, links are provided for previous sections. [NOTE: I had changed James’ name to Travis for the novel, but I didn’t like it, so changed it back to James – SO JAMES is Travis (parts 1-4) and if I post anymore excerpts, it is James, as he has always been in my mind. Sorry for the confusion – posted it then realized.] I have written several posts on here about Lyla, as she has been in my head for many years, since college creative writing classes. Any feedback provided would be great! Oh and if you’re interested, here’s how Lyla and James met. 🙂 

Part 1                      Part 2                      Part 3                       Part 4                      Part 5


They began talking about the night they met. Lyla laughed, ”Pretty sure your cousin was the one Debbie Forrester and I used to hold up against the wall and kiss his little face – wasn’t he really short back then? Am I remembering that right?”

“Oh yeah, it was him, he used to brag about it to me,” James chuckled.

“He was a little cutie and we, at least I, never really kissed him, just tortured his little ass for fun! Now Debbie might’ve slipped him the tongue – who knows she was a crazy girl,” Lyla laughed, remembering the fun she had working at that restaurant that spring and summer she was 14.

“Did he really used to brag about it – crack the fuck up!” she giggled.

James added, “Girl, you were such a damn tease!” he smiled wide.

“No, I wasn’t,” she amusingly threw her head back laughing, and her intoxicating contagious laugh carried through the restaurant, causing others to look their direction and smile.

“Darlin, you can certainly captivate a room,” he said hushed, yet full of wonder and pride all at the same time looking at her and then glancing around the room.

She began to laugh even more, “Glad to know my laughter travels. Best part of me most days is my laughter! Do you recall while we were talking that night at the restaurant that you had me kind of pinned against the wall with one arm stretched across kinda sorta blocking my path?” she asked him.

James laughed, “I don’t remember the pinning part off the top of my head. I hope I wasn’t out of line, but Lord have mercy woman you were, and still are, a hottie,” winking at her.

“AND I have serious doubts the best part of you has surfaced yet,” James replied. He got quiet for a moment. “You’re a beautiful person. Lyla, learn who you really are, and don’t be afraid of it ’cause it brings light to others,” he said softly yet directly.

“It’s so easy to talk to you, Lyla. I’m not all that intimidated or insecure typically, but you have no idea what it took for me to even start a conversation with you back then, or since for that matter. I’ve always been comfy with you, Lyla, but I really thought you were way outta my league back then. Shit, woman, you still are.”

“Seriously? I never felt that way,” she stated matter-of-factly, as she studied his face.

“Well, I can tell you, you’ve always been on a pedestal in my heart. You will always own a piece of my heart Lyla.” They both got quiet.

Lyla responded, “You know you have a little piece of mine, too.”

“We were talking a while back and I said something to the effect that if I were sitting across the table from you right now and before I could finish my thought, you asked me if I would kiss you. It took a second for me to reply,” James stated.

“I did?” she looked amused, vaguely remembering that was the night he told her she was the one that got away. “Was I drunk?” she asked demurely.

“Uh, yeah. You were pretty buzzed,” he chuckled.

“If I recall correctly, you said you didn’t know if you could trust yourself sitting across the table from me, and I said I did trust you, I do trust you,” she smiled. “And here we are. And I’m sorry that I asked that, wasn’t really a fair question – and totally not fucking with your head – but that day I might’ve let you, I might’ve wanted you to. Glad we were on the phone . . . sorry,” hesitating for a second, adding, “You must have been leading me on,” she laughed.

“Don’t try to explain, Lyla. Not necessary,” James looked right in her eyes. “I understand our relationship, what it is and what it isn’t.”

As fate had been reading their cards and playing the perfect soundtrack it seemed since they first ran into each other the night before, Dave Matthews Crash Into Me began to play. Lyla sat back in her chair, swaying and singing, smiling as she loved this song – the liquor she had drank had made her warm, happy, at ease, and her inhibitions were definitely a bit looser. As the words “Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me” played, she smiled, slowly pulling her skirt up showing her shapely tanned legs stopping slightly above her knees. After the third time the chorus line played, she laughed, and then actually blushed. “I am so sorry, James!” she expressed, as if she was mortified, though there was a twinkle in her eyes. “It just seemed so appropriate when I was singing it,” she giggled.

“Sure you are baby!” he laughed, feeling warm all through his body. He winked at her, “I have fun with you, girl,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness, knowing this might be a one-time deal.

He gave her a look, trying hard not to laugh himself.

Lyla continued, “Seriously though, I apologize for the kiss thing. And THAT! I am just having a really good time, and I feel very comfortable with you. We have talked about our friendship and I would never want to do anything to lead you on or hurt you in any way.” I must admit – you make it easy to be a bit flirtatious at times.”

“You can trust me, Lyla, don’t ever doubt that,” James said in a serious tone, continuing, “You are not someone that I could have a dalliance with. It took me awhile to get there, but I was really happy for you & Jesse. I know you love him. But this summer, I have found myself occasionally thinking about it from a different point of view. Truth be told, I have thought long and hard more than a few times about you and what might be. Over the years, I have worked hard not to do that, but Jesse’s choices are making me rethink my attitude towards you, us, our relationship.”

As the waitress passed by, Lyla ordered another round. She had a great buzz on, but this conversation was really deep, and though she didn’t want to shy away from it, her mouth was dry. She ordered another glass of water, as well.

James smiled at her. “Am I, is this conversation making you uncomfortable, Lyla?” he asked her his voice full of empathy and compassion.

“No, just taking it all in. And was getting thirsty again,” she pointed at her empty glass.

James continued, “And Yes. I probably would have kissed you and yes that probably would have been a really bad thing to happen to two really good friends. I maybe a horn dog at times but with you it may have fucked a whole lot of stuff up. And I wouldn’t have regretted it, except I would never want you to feel like a fool when it comes to me or our relationship. As a manly man, I live for a challenge and even thrive on rejection, but I aint nobody’s fool, and I refuse to make someone else one too.”

James continued where he left off earlier, “But nothing depends on my choices, or Jesse’s choices – it all depends on Lyla’s choices. Doubt you’re in any position to be making any other major choices tonight. You already sullied your virgin body with that bad-ass tattoo,” he laughed to lighten the mood. The conversation had gotten pretty deep, deeper than he had really anticipated when he came on this trip. He didn’t want to be another issue or problem in her life.

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Imagining what might’ve been – Write Naked Part 4


Next installment of my NaNoWriMo 🙂

Part 1                      Part 2                      Part 3

“Damn, kept you up most of the night, after you got me drunk, had us a good meal and now a nice little beach walk to start, or finish the day, however we see fit,” she was smiling. “When’s the last time you had a weekend like this?” she asked.

“Darlin’, I’ve never had a weekend like this,” he mocked her.

“Whatever, smart ass,” she responded.

“Uh, I was being serious,” he shot back.

She ran towards the ocean tide and as soon as her feet got wet, she kicked the tide towards him, attempting to get him wet, laughing as loud as she could. God, he loved to hear her laugh. She kept trying to splash him, until finally he walked over to her and picked her up and carried her three feet back in. Upon letting her down, she asked, “Was that necessary, Travis?” still laughing.

“I’m afraid so, not sure what to expect from you, young lady!” he laughed at her back.

“It’s beautiful here, huh,” she asked him.

“Yes, it is, Lyla, very much so.”

They continued to walk on for about twenty minutes, not really saying much, just feeling each other’s presence, before turning around to head back to the car. As they got closer, she asked him, “I’m really tired – need a few hours of sleep. That okay with you?”

“Sure, baby. What you got in mind?” he asked back.

“I’ve got a little money stashed for this little trip, so I’d like us to get a room – that way we have some air-conditioning. I’m too damn old to be sleeping on the beach or in my car anymore,” she said. “That work for you?” she asked.

“Lyla, I am fine with us getting a room on two conditions,” he teased. “Number One – you have to let me pay. And Number Two – you have to promise to take advantage of me.” He was laughing at her now.

She looked at him and smiled that damn soul-melting smile of hers and started to giggle. “You, my friend, are a mess, and I’m not sure I can live with your conditions.”

“Take it or leave it,” he said. Though he was laughing, he meant it, and she could tell.

“I didn’t invite you so you could pay for stuff,” she continued, “I invited you because we have fun together.”

“I’m aware of that, Lyla. I’m offering and quite frankly, if truth be told Lyla Rochelle, I am expecting you to let me pay if I want to.”

“Ooooh, the middle name – am I being naughty?” she laughed even harder, teasing him. He smiled so hard at that, he couldn’t help but start cracking up and shaking his head. He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “Not arguing with ya, sure, whatever,” she said, as she really was tired and starting to get very sleepy.

“You got a place in mind,” he asked her.

“Yep – Holiday Inn, not too far from here, I believe.” She led the way to the car.

“And by the way, woman, I like when you say naughty,” he said huskily. She looked over her shoulder at him, and gave him a playful glare.

They checked into the Holiday Inn, under his name and he paid. Though she tried to pay for the room, he insisted and presented his credit card to the clerk. They had a cooler, and a bag of snacks, as well as one small bag she brought to bring up to the room. She immediately pulled the bedspread and blanket down to the foot of one of the beds, and laid on the cool sheets. She was so sleepy. “Trav, thanks for getting the room. I told you I would, but that was so sweet of you to insist,” she murmured. “There might be a couple toothbrushes and some toothpaste in my little bag, not sure what else, maybe some ibuprofen. Look in there and see if you want. I’m so tired,” she yawned. “Travis?” she waited for him to respond.

“What Lyla?” he replied back.

“Thanks for coming . . .,” she whispered.

“Sure baby,” he said softly as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Getcha a few hours.”

She fell asleep quickly, since she had been up all night. He sat there and watched her sleep thinking about all the things he had missed over the years because he let her go, didn’t tell her, didn’t fight for her. He imagined what kind of life they might’ve had, the children they might’ve had, the love they might’ve had. He had been married four times, and none of them lasted. His longest relationship was twelve years. His past relationships, though he had many many happy memories from them all, had all ended badly.

The women cheated on him, lied to him, deceived him – betrayed him. But for some reason, he felt had he married her, she wouldn’t have done these things. He truly believed, while certainly not perfect, she would’ve honored their wedding vows. She told him she had never cheated on her husband, and he believed her – had no doubts to her honesty. He knew he could be wrong about her. He had been wrong about others before, but he just didn’t think so. And he knew there was a reason why she had always been the one that gnawed at the back of his mind.

He hadn’t slept much either, and all this deep thinking was making him tired. He lay on the other bed, facing her at first, then turned on his back. He closed his eyes and began to think about the past. When he first met her at the restaurant his cousin worked at and how beautiful he thought she was then. He felt affected by her from the start. He thought about all the drugs they used to do together as teenagers, but he knew that wasn’t the draw – just the times. He thought about the night he painted her toenails. The smile crept across his face slowly as he thought about that, and that was his last thought as he fell asleep.

*                                                 *                                               *                                                  *                                            *                                             *

She knew the tattoo shop opened at 4:00. The room they had gotten was about fifteen minutes from the shop. She was nervous, yet excited at the thought of doing something she had so wanted to do decades ago, but never did. That goldfish, she laughed to herself. She had resigned herself to the fact that she would never get a tattoo. She didn’t have anything specific in mind, and hoped the artist could draw her something she liked, or she might not get one. As usual, fence sitting . . .

She sat and drew a few things out, and considering she was not an artist by any means, the sketches of what she had in mind looked pretty good, something the tattoo artist might be able to work with. She still had no idea where she wanted to get this tattoo permanently placed on her body. She thought about her shoulder, but then she wouldn’t be able to see it. She wasn’t getting this for others, she wanted it for herself, and wanted to be able to easily see it, as well as maybe cover it up, if she so desired. She would talk to the artist about that, too, she supposed.

She looked over at Travis sleeping. He looked handsome lying there looking so vulnerable somehow. She loved his thick head of silvering hair. He looked so long on that bed – he was tall, much taller than her. She remembered when she first met him. In reality, they were both still so innocent in their youth – something they would not realize until many years later.

She thought about all the things he had told her about his past, his women, his life. Though her life had been far from perfect, and Travis had been to many exciting places and had some great memories, she knew he was missing having a family, kids that he knew, grandkids that he was involved with. The same things so many of us want in our lives. She hated that his life had turned out that way. He had always been kind to her, and she had always wanted only the best things for him. She cared deeply for him, always had. She had looked for him for years off and on, when she finally found him a little over a decade ago.

Sometimes she wouldn’t hear from him for a while and the number she had for him didn’t work. But sooner or later, he would always contact her again and she was always glad when he did. They had had an abundance of conversations over the years. They were kindred spirits in many ways, but when she met her husband, she had stopped thinking of Travis in a boyfriend kind of way. He hadn’t been calling her much during that time either, come to find out besides his mom being sick, he had been seeing some other girl and had gotten her pregnant. Lyla didn’t know about this until they had reconnected. When she realized the son he never knew was conceived when they were dating, she had to admit, it tarnished his shine just a tad. She wondered, but had no real idea that he was cheating on her. She wasn’t angry, as she wasn’t ready to have sex with him, so she understood him wanting to get it from somewhere – they were horny teenagers after all – but in light of some of the things he had shared with her, it was surprising he would do that. It just seems like he would’ve tried harder. Lyla did not understand guys sometimes.

Sitting here, knowing what she knew, and her marital situation being what it was, she wondered what it might’ve been like if her and Travis had dated longer and fell in real love, marriage type of love. What might it have been like to be Travis’ wife? She knew he adored her, as that had always been clear. He seemed to be a good provider, always having good jobs. Would he have been faithful to her? She wondered. He wasn’t when they dated, though they were only teenagers at the time and everything was so new and unknown. Is he the kind of man who could be happy with just one woman, knowing she was happy with and faithful to him. It didn’t seem like he had too many relationships like that. She wasn’t sure, as she watched his chest move slightly as he slumbered. She did know that he was good to her, kind, considerate, and caring. She enjoyed conversation with him, it was easy as hell for them to be flirtatious – and they both were occasionally, but never anything out of line, never anything that could be taken out of context. Well, not really.

He was starting to rouse; she nudged him a little, “Hey you ‘bout ready to start the next stage in our adventure,” she smiled at him. He opened and closed his eyes a few times, registering what he was seeing upon waking. He hadn’t been dreaming. She was here. He was with her. ‘Look at that smile, those eyes,’ he thought to himself, ‘and to think I might’ve woke up to this beautiful soul-pleasing sight every day of my life, had I been smarter, had I been braver, had I handled things differently.’ He smiled back at her, “Hey gorgeous,” he half whispered, “I am.”

[Part 5 – You Want To Make A Memory]

Memory – SoCS


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My memory  . . . my memories . . . what a beautiful convoluted bittersweet poignant delightful intriguing tantalizing wonderful place to get lost for awhile ❤

I just hope that someday that’s not where I live, except as someone else’s – memory that is.

 

In response to the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt “Memory” – http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-114/

The Past is the Past


Sometimes through our memories and those that we share them with, the past feels alive again, and it can be exciting. After a while though, the fire burns down, and all that is left is the glowing embers of the memories, warm, cozy, and fuzzy around the edges. Through that set of rose-colored glasses, everything looks better than it was. Discovering new information about the past, the storylines in your head begin. You start rewriting scenarios, and what-ifing, what could have been, what might have been. Thoughts flash through your head that seem could have been plausible, but deep down, you know they probably weren’t. You get caught up in it for a time, but then you realize, it really is just sweet memories from the past. And the past is the past . . .

But what if some day it isn’t?

☮ ~ Sixties Retro ~ ☮


 

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Peace signs

Hookah pipes

Black licorice and

Lemon drops

Cinnamon discs

Smiley faces

Patchouli incense

Wide open spaces

Bell bottom jeans

White gauze shirts

Colorful love beads

Long flowing skirts

VW Bugs

Chevy Vans

Long-haired hippies

Acid-rock bands

Civil rights

Black and white

Living together

Birds of a feather

The sixties –a magical transformative time!

©2014

I Missed It


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You’re still in my dreams at times

Though not as often as before

Maybe I don’t need you or

The thought of you anymore.

 

Though you’re always there

In the background, I’ll never forget

How you affected me and changed

The way I thought of myself.

 

Sometimes I miss that.

 

And more than anything . . .

I wish I would’ve kissed you just once.

You’re voluptuous full lips on mine

They had to be soft and sweet.

 

©2014

Life Changing Moment in Time


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I’d like to say that you changed my life –

But you didn’t  . . . oh but you did!

What wasn’t done or said speaks as loud

Or was it a scream?

 

Years apart, minds in synch

Wasn’t it funny, things we think.

I remember every conversation –

Except that one  . . .

 

Haven’t seen you in awhile,

Hope you’re happy.

Getting on with your life,

Making the most of your dreams.

 

©2014

Texas Gulf Coast in the Spring


 

Bluebonnets on the roadside

Pleasant days and cooler nights

A breeze playing the windchimes

A young man catches your eye

 

Crawfish boils with potatoes and corn

Redbuds sprouting purple on the trees

Laughing with friends on the patio

Watching the growth of all being born

 

A deer in the field watching its fawn

An armadillo killed on the run

Picking dewberries along the fence line

Daylight savings time makes the day long

 

Catching specs, drums and reds in the bay

Eating strawberries at the festival

Drinking margaritas in the sun

Texas in the spring – It can take your breath away!

 

©2014

Deja Vu


 

He was the shy boy across the street

She’s wasn’t exactly the girl next door

His parents tried to warn him away

He knew he’d never felt this way before

 

Lying together in bed for hours on end

Sharing their feelings and life stories

Discussing their dreams, desires and sins

Their bodies fitting  perfectly exploring their glories

 

They got their own place

As soul mates started their lives

It all seemed so right

Till they began burying  knives

[in each other’s backs]

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

They grew up together

They endured and grew through the pains

The world was their oyster

Till they noticed the stains

 

Decades had passed, fine lines evident

Yet they still looked the same, in each other’s eyes

But they were neglectful, holding grudges

And soon learned what complacency buys

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

Soon the contempt crept in

Causing cracks in their bond

They tried several times to go it alone

But the love and desire just wasn’t gone

 

As time marched on, he knew he’d  misjudged missing her

Even apart, they shared each other’s bodies and bed

But then after he’d leave, often wishing he’d stayed

This just fucked with her heart and her head

[and it hurt]

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

 

They got back together, though he took his time

Many promises made, she meant them this time

Boundaries were set, expectations revealed

This time it would work – tough times were behind

 

Life continued to challenge them in ways never expected

They tried to stay strong as confidence and faith wavered

Expectations forgotten, many promises broken

Though they’re holding on, praying love remains savored

 

Deja Vu  . . . They’ve been here before

Deja Vu   . . . The view seems so clear

Deja Vu   . . . They know the score

Deja Vu   . . . Love fights the fear

©2014

You Only Still Love Me


You only still love me,

Cause you don’t really know me.

If you did, then you might change your mind.

I may not be all you dream I am,

That pedestal seems pretty high.

The thought of me is intriguing, I know,

Cause of the thought of you is too.

But the past is the past,

Can’t bring it back now.

What the future holds,

God  only knows.

©2014

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© ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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