Want to Dance, Darlin’ – Write Naked Part 2

soulmates-where-is-my-soulmate

So I’ve been working on NaNoWriMo and this is another piece of my novel. It has not been edited in any form yet, just free writing. I posted part one here earlier, if you want to know some back story. I have written several posts on here about Lyla, as she has been in my head for many years. Any feedback provided would be great! Oh, and tonight, hell maybe I am writing naked 😉 

“You want to dance, darlin’?” Travis asked.

“Not particularly, not too good of a dancer,” she laughed.

“For some reason, I doubt that is true, I can’t imagine anything you wiggle not looking good,” he winked at her and grabbed her hand.

“No, seriously, I don’t dance,” Lyla said, though she was pretty buzzed and if home she would’ve been dancing around some time ago.

“Come on, woman, humor me,” he winked at her again, smiling that damn grin. What the hell, hopefully no one she knew was here to see her embarrass herself. She let him pull her up out of the chair and lead her out to the dance area.

The songs were fast and neither one were great dancers, but they were having fun. He swung her around a few times and when he twirled her out to the end of his reach, she laughed liked a little girl, throwing her head back when she laughed with pure joy. God, he was genuinely delighted in her amusement and pleasure. Then a slow song came on. She had that look as if she was ready to bolt, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her close. “Keep dancing with me Lyla,” he whispered in her ear, “Don’t be scared.”

She looked up at him and said, “I’m not scared . . .,” mumbling, “much” under her breath. Travis knew this song, it was one of his favorites – Van Wilkes instrumental “Without a Word.” He already had a history with this song, but he wanted to make a memory with Lyla while this song was playing. A memory not as erotic as his previous memory with his ex-wife, but a memory that was more intimate. He pulled her close to him, holding her tight, but gently, and he began to sway, with her following.

He had to look down at her, as she was a bit shorter than him. He could smell her hair, grazing his face in it, and it was soft and silky. She smelled like gardenias. He found it sensual – her hair, her smell, her touch, being this close to her. At this point, for whatever reason, he was very in tune with his senses and emotions. His inhibitions freer due to his inebriated state, he whispered, “Woman, even after all these years, you . . .,” he trailed off. She was struggling to hear him anyway. They danced till the long erotic instrumental was over. She started to turn and head back to the table, he grabbed her hand, “One more.”

“Okay,” she smiled. Then they played Warren Hayes “I’ll be the One.” These songs were like a cosmic glue connecting them over the years, telling some of their story, and it was kismet that these particular songs were being played here tonight with her by his side.

“You give them a list of requests or something?” she teased, “’cause I’m pretty sure you turned me on to a lot of these songs.”

“Yeah, I was wondering about that, too,” he mused, as he started singing the words to the song.

It was late, but not too late to get into some trouble. Lyla had trouble on her mind. She was pretty buzzed, and definitely fed up with living within the confines of the boundaries she had always set for herself. She thought past the nose on her face, always considering the consequences her actions might have on her and others later.

She has been so cautious for so long, she could feel a wild hair burning in her soul, just chomping at the bit to do something a little crazy, a little wild, a bit spontaneous. Lyla could feel that fire burning inside of her.

She looked at Travis across the table and said, “I want to do something really crazy!” her eyes lit up as she spoke. They were very green and very red.

“Do you now,” he laughed. “And what is it that you would like to do? Is it legal? Is it going to sully my reputation?” he continued to laugh. “You always amuse me, Lyla!”

“I want to get the fuck out of here for awhile – like a road trip. You up for a friendly road trip – notice I said friendly. I don’t want to lead you on in any way, and I have no ill intent,” she laughed. “I’m just having a great time with you. I’m sick of my four walls and all the time I have spent there lately feeling caged like an animal. I’m not sure what my future holds, but tonight it’s a full moon, I have a sunroof and a bad ass Bose stereo. You up for a little ride?” she smiled at that comment.

“Seriously, Lyla? Where is it you want to go? You are some kind of unpredictable at times – I kinda remember that about you,” he laughed.

“Let’s go to South Padre. I read about a highly recommended tattoo parlor there and I want to get a tattoo. I also want to spend some time on the beach, copping some sun. Seriously just friends having some fun and getting the fuck outta dodge for a bit.”

Travis looked at her quizzically, “Lyla, I thought you told me you didn’t have any tattoos, and weren’t really keen on the idea.”

“Yeah, well I changed my mind. Early birthday present to myself. In truth, I always wanted one, just didn’t seem prudent,” she said with a serious face; then she started cracking up laughing. “Seriously, I want to do this. I really have been thinking about it for awhile, that’s why I was checking out the best places.” She looked across the table at him with those eyes and that smile – shit he couldn’t tell her no.

[Part 3 – Moonlight Drive]

[Part 4 – Imagining What Might Have Been]

[Part 5 – You Want To Make A Memory]

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Write Naked People!! | Windchimes and Dreamcatchers
  2. Trackback: Tupperware® Got Me Thinking | Just something I was thinking about . . .
  3. markbialczak
    Nov 17, 2014 @ 11:57:14

    I think I might like to get to know these two, Sadie. They seem kind of intriguing. The back story foreshadowing, I like. The dialog is realistic. Nice job.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • ~ Sadie ~
      Nov 25, 2014 @ 14:14:42

      Thanks so much Mark for taking the time to read and comment!! I so appreciate it 🙂 I have been playing with this story off and on for a very long time . . . it has lots & lots of pieces . . . not sure I am going to make my 50,000 words, but it aint over till it’s over!!

      Like

      Reply

  4. Trackback: Moonlight Drive – Write Naked Part 3 | Windchimes and Dreamcatchers
  5. Trackback: Imagining what might’ve been – Write Naked Part 4 | Windchimes and Dreamcatchers
  6. prior
    Dec 28, 2014 @ 19:21:31

    He had to look down at her, as she was a bit shorter than him. He could smell her hair, grazing his face in it, and it was soft and silky. She smelled like gardenias. He found it sensual – her hair, her smell, her touch, being this close to her. At this point, for whatever reason, he was very in tune with his senses and emotions. His inhibitions freer due to his inebriated state, he whispered, “Woman, even after all these years, you . . .,” he trailed off. She was struggling to hear him anyway. They danced till the long erotic instrumental was over. She started to turn and head back to the table, he grabbed her hand, “One more.”
    here is an example of rewording – I am not saying it is better – but it is just an example of how rewording things can get rid of some of the he/she

    Lyla was a bit shorter than Travis and as he looked down at her, for whatever reason, at this point in the night, he was very in tune with his senses and emotions. The smell of Lyla’s hair was like gardenias and as the soft and silky feel of her hair was grazing his face, he found it sensual – her hair, her smell, her touch, and being this close to her.

    ~~~
    Travis knew this song, it was one of his favorites – Van Wilkes instrumental “Without a Word.” He already had a history with this song, but he wanted to make a memory with Lyla while this song was playing.

    this might be knit picking – but you asked for feedback 🙂
    well, the use of “this song” three times in a row felt choppy.
    one example of rewording:
    Travis knew this song, it was one of his favorites – Van Wilkes instrumental “Without a Word.” He already had a history with this song, but he wanted to make a memory with Lyla while this song was playing.

    ~~~
    always watch the use of the conjunction “but” – and especially with this content (lol)
    For example, with this “He pulled her close to him, holding her tight, but gently, and he began to sway, with her following.”
    it might be better to write “yet gently” – holding her tight, yet gently…
    or
    “he pulled her close to him and holding her tight ass gently, they began to sway with her following his lead.” jk

    ~~~

    here are some of my favorite snippets, that give me a feel for you as a writer:

    cosmic glue

    he winked at her and grabbed her hand.

    laughed liked a little girl, throwing her head back when she laughed with pure joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. ~ Sadie ~
    Dec 29, 2014 @ 03:34:23

    Damn Yvette – great editing tips there! I know – I wont lie, I was writing quickly just trying to get thoughts and words down on the page & I know what I have written so far is going to need some serious editing, especially with the pronouns, – so if you read the rest, keep that in mind 😉 Having said that, I am loving the feedback!! And definitely using your above edit (if you don’t mind) – “he pulled her close to him and holding her tight ass gently, they began to sway with her following his lead” – I like it! Thank you so much!! Okay – I am off to check comments on the others to see if I hooked you & you wanted to read on & got the chance to . . .
    Thanks Yvette – seriously ❤

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  8. Trackback: You Want To Make A Memory – Write Naked Part 5 | Windchimes and Dreamcatchers
  9. Trackback: Just Talking – Write Naked Part 6 | Windchimes and Dreamcatchers

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