Shaver

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This was the challenge for Day 20 (I am a day late – oops 10 mins after midnight makes me two days late) – write a poem in the voice of a member of your family. 

 

I was a mistake, conceived unwanted

The preventative pill was used, but it failed

I came into this world a day before my oldest sibling

I can only hope she considered me a gift.

My parents always treated me differently

Like something was wrong with me – as if I didn’t belong

My older brother died right after I came into this life

My parents didn’t seem to care for him any more than me.

I strived for their attention, even if it was bad

They were often cruel and unloving, so incredibly sad

I was beat like a dog, treated as an outsider

Though I was small for my age, I could take a lot and I did.

Until midway in grade school, I woke up often in a wet bed

This really pissed my parents off

To punish me, I was sent to school smelling of my accident

This got me teased mercilessly and an ass-kicking regularly

Thank goodness my oldest sibling was protective

A bitch who could and did kick some ass

My sisters were treated so much better than me

Sometimes I longed to be a girl, so I would be loved too.

Dressing in their clothes, makeup and shoes

That never went over well when my secret was revealed

I spent much time locked in my room, a padlock outside the door

Sometimes that was to keep me from stealing food

I wasn’t allowed to watch TV, ordered to stand or sit

Just out of view, but I could still hear what was going on

Often I stood at the dinner table, not deserving a seat

Several times I showed people my bruises, so to avoid that

New punishment for misbehaving was jalapeno peppers I was forced to eat

And soon Child Protective Services took me far away

I thought that might be my salvation, boy I was wrong

They took me away to a scary place where nightly

I received drugs to make me sleep, when I wasn’t being raped

When I was finally freed from that, by coming of age

My dad then denied me a simple can of soup

Though there wasn’t a penny to my name

I’m pretty sure I was born gay – this my dad abhorred

My mom seemed to accept it, but she had her own shame

Got sent to the penitentiary once, for stealing at her request

As a repeat offender, I spent many years in the pen

Finally with God’s grace, I got my life together

Finding a good mate, a fulfilling job, and attending school

I have been blessed with two loving accepting sisters

And over the years their families have grown, making me

An uncle and a great uncle, which I absolutely adore

Been educated – a bachelors, a masters, and part of a second masters

Yet still having trouble reconciling the fact my dad isn’t proud of me

He has grown to accept me, it was a hard battle uphill all the way

I feel he loves me, too – just not the way he should and I deserve

I have other struggles, too and have fallen off the wagon

With God’s favor and placing it all in is hands

I know I will get through this – I know he will help me accept

The hand I was dealt in this life – it sucked

But at least I was dealt two pair – not a fucking fold.

**[OR should the last line be: But at least I was dealt two pair – not a folding hand. Opinions please ;-)]**

©2014

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. bethmcgee1229
    Jun 17, 2014 @ 09:52:58

    I like not a folding hand… more meaning there for me!

    Like

    Reply

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© ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ~ Sadie ~ and Windchimes and Dreamcatchers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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